I go through the day thinking that I’m going to die, but I don’t. At least not yet.
Throwing in the towel
Before university had even started, I was recommended to take up Media Arts as a side subject to fulfill the remaining points I needed for my degree. To my surprise, it was completely different. It was interesting and partly filled with intellectuals. It grew into a a pleasure, an excitement to walk into that room and know that my creativity could explode. The two and a half time experiencing it has been a valuable asset, however I’ve realised that I’ve lost the passion for it. I’ve realised that I can’t do things with complete freedom as there is no more time for that anymore. There is too much for me to juggle right now. So, after this semester is over, I won’t be continuing on with it. I am and still will enjoy contemporary arts with all its complicated meanings. Its requirement to think outside of the norm of the traditional, but I will just be that- a creator joining the sea of the observer.
I was about to write something, but kind-of-forgot-but-I’m-tired-to-think-about-anything-properly-or-even-think-straight so I’m going to bed.
I lack faith but in the dead of night,
the demons still whisper into my ears
the dajjal still manifests in my own shadow
and the angels still hover above
in the battle royale for my sanity.
Talking to a friend about an event and to my surprise she told me that I am so money driven now. Shocked as I read those words as I always wanted to live the simple life. The life without much hassle and money would only be enough to get me by. Just enough for what I need and a bit extra so I don’t stay cooped up, turning insane. But those words, it hit me as if she took what I stood for and broke it all down.
I want a tattoo tomorrow, but I don’t know what. Maybe I should give it a few days, like my last one.
